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Power Play 02: Friendly Fire & Unlikely Allies

  • Writer: Edward Graves
    Edward Graves
  • May 20
  • 3 min read

Updated: 7 days ago

Power. Performance. Politics.




Power Play 02: Never Put Too Much Trust in Friends, Learn How to Use Enemies


Title: Friendly Fire & Unlikely Allies


Metaphorical Truth: Familiarity protects feelings. Power protects position.


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Opening Story: The Friendly Flame-Out



In every field—sports, business, life—someone hires or promotes a friend. Loyalty. Comfort. Trust.

And then it falls apart.


Not from hate. But from expectation without accountability.

Friends show up late because they assume you’ll understand.

They underperform because they think the relationship outranks the role.

And when things go left, they hit you with: “You know how I am.”


And now you’re stuck—cleaning up after someone you vouched for.

Because you trusted the bond more than the outcome.


The lesson? Loyalty isn’t a strategy.

And enemies? They work harder. They can’t afford to fail.

They don’t expect grace. They want to prove a point.





In the Boardroom – Executive Insight



The Problem:

You hire a friend because they’ve “been with you.”

But now they’re fumbling deliverables. They can’t keep up.

And the minute you hold them accountable, it’s “you changed.”


From Experience:

I once hired someone I trusted personally—but who wasn’t professionally ready.

They missed key targets, ignored direction, and damaged client confidence.

My name was on that fallout. Not theirs.

That experience cost me more than money. It cost me time, reputation, and leverage.


The Strategy:

Hire performers, not companions. Vet them like you don’t know them.


The Power Play:

An enemy wants to win. A friend wants room to be flawed.

Trust the one who needs the outcome more than they need your approval.





In the Office – Athletic Directors



The Problem:

You elevate a coach you “know” will be loyal. They’re dependable. Familiar.

But once in position, they’re not ready.

Communication breaks down. Program culture slips.

You’re managing not just performance—but hurt feelings.


Seen It Happen:

I’ve watched teams decline when the AD chose loyalty over qualification.

That assistant wasn’t a bad person—they just weren’t ready to carry the weight.

And the AD? Tied to that decision for years.


The Strategy:

Familiarity isn’t vision. Choose hunger. Choose competency.

Let friendship exist outside the chain of command.


The Power Play:

Reward trust with access—not authority.

Let friends earn their position just like anyone else.





On the Sideline – Coaches



The Problem:

You promote a buddy. Now they’re slacking in practice, undermining structure, or talking back like it’s banter.

Correct them and it gets tense. Don’t, and your team sees inconsistency.


From Experience:

I’ve coached beside people who thought friendship was a shield.

They took liberties. Forgot we had a job to do.

When I held them accountable, I was “changing.”

No—I was protecting the standard.


The Strategy:

Make the expectations clear before the title changes.

Write it down if you have to.


The Power Play:

Don’t give someone a leadership role if they can’t separate personal from professional.

Clarity keeps relationships—and reputations—intact.





On the Field – Athletes



The Problem:

You pass to your boy instead of the open teammate.

You skip team workouts to stay with your crew.

You vouch for someone who doesn’t have your focus—and when they slip, the staff questions you.


Case Study:

Countless elite athletes bring friends into their circle—trainers, managers, handlers—who cost them scholarships, deals, or trust from coaches.

Not because they meant harm.

But because they weren’t built for the role.


The Strategy:

Your crew doesn’t have to be in your lane.

Let them support your journey—just don’t let them derail it.


The Power Play:

Build your circle with people who call you out—not just hype you up.

Sometimes the teammate you had beef with is more reliable than the one who knows your middle name.





For Those Who Move Different



We were taught to be loyal.

To bring our people with us.

To break bread with the ones who knew us before the wins.


But here’s the truth:


Power respects performance—not proximity.

Friendship is earned. Trust is maintained.

And sometimes, your sharpest collaborator isn’t in your phone… they’re in your past.


Be kind. Be loyal. But be wise.

Not everyone who’s close should be in position.

Not everyone who challenges you is trying to block you.

And not every friend wants the pressure of holding the rope with you when it matters.





Call to Reflection



When has loyalty cost you leverage?

Which decision did you make for friendship—not function?

Who do you need to move from “inner circle” to “outside consultant”?





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